To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.

I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.

And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?

So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.

Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-

6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.

6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.

A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do.

They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.

But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.

And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?

That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.

You. The rapist’s comrade.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…

Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.

Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)

Single greatest argument about this I have ever heard.

(via justintheallan)

Wonderfully summed up.

(via realmendonotrape)

Read it, it’s worth your time.

(via gentledom)

Worth your time to read and share! (via yourbadgrrl)

  1. welldontcommitsuicide reblogged this from obsessedfangirlwithablog
  2. beta-jada reblogged this from naysexual
  3. the-hollow-apple reblogged this from makomore
  4. naysexual reblogged this from buttsquadron
  5. makomore reblogged this from qiniverse
  6. deception-and--perfection reblogged this from amused-and-c0nfused
  7. irishcaity reblogged this from keptein
  8. sufficientlytalentedfool reblogged this from keptein
  9. keptein reblogged this from kittypepper
  10. theadventuresofjulia reblogged this from shertockhotmes
  11. ninetypercentsarcasm reblogged this from storiesintheashes
  12. vashti-unveiled reblogged this from storiesintheashes
  13. pinchebermejo reblogged this from thisisrapeculture
  14. hazamaeggs reblogged this from saintbara
  15. baublesaccumulated reblogged this from lynchy8
  16. imiji-sj reblogged this from saintbara
  17. saintbara reblogged this from allishinca
  18. raavaandvatu reblogged this from nerdytruths
  19. aliceewalicee reblogged this from allishinca
  20. allishinca reblogged this from yayfeminism
  21. nerdytruths reblogged this from sawtoothandsquarewave
  22. aerynmistaya reblogged this from shertockhotmes
  23. velkynkarma reblogged this from storiesintheashes
  24. fairy-ribbon reblogged this from toasturbuns
  25. anomaly1994 reblogged this from threwmyselftothewind
  26. origami-penguin reblogged this from storiesintheashes
  27. tryingtogetradical reblogged this from fuckbitchesbeacat